Salvaged from LiveJournal: March 29th, 2002

mood:  exhausted

music: Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

A funny thing happened as I was watching Comedy Central... 

It has certainly been a while since I've actually written in my LiveJournal (besides the odd smart-alecky comment in someone else's journal now and again). I'm going to try to lj-cut this entry--something I've never tried before--so as not to clog up anyone else's Friends page.

It was Tuesday night, March 5 2002. My wife and I were watching Comedy Central's The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It was getting near the end of the show, around 10:30, when Annette abruptly left the room. I didn't think much of it, since her pregnancy (nearing full term) caused frequent and urgent bathroom breaks. Loving husband that I am, I continued watching TV, laughing at the "news" as presented by my favorite bunch of fake correspondents.

About 10 minutes later, my wife called me from the other room. I went into the bedroom where I discovered she was still in the bathroom. "I think something's happening..." was the phrase that kicked off the most chaotic and wonderful couple of days in my life.

The next couple of hours were pretty much a blur of memory: flipping through Annette's pregnancy books trying to figure out if she was in false labor or actual labor, hurriedly packing a suitcase while Annette struggled through her contractions, driving to the hospital at 1:30 not sure if I was ready for this to be "it" or the disappointment if it wasn't.

We got to the hospital at about 2AM, and the nurses started taking care of Annette and the paperwork. Somewhere along the line I remember asking a nurse if she thought this was the real thing. She replied that it probably was and continued to prepare various tables and equipment. The doctor arrived some indeterminate amount of time later, disappeared for another quick moment to change into scrubs, and then returned and told Annette to start pushing.

The good thing was that it was all over very quickly. The bad thing was that it was too quick for Annette to have any type of pain mediation at all. No drugs, no epidural, nothing. Annette is no hero- she had been counting on an epidural all along. However, once labor actually started she progressed far too quickly to get anything at all. So she did it all completely on her own!!! My God, I can't believe what she did! She never once said "I can't do this!" I always knew she was amazing, but I never suspected she could go through this as easily as she did. By "easily" I don't mean "effortlessly," but there was no screaming, no crying, and no swearing. I had been assured she'd be cursing me out like a sailor, but no- there was only one reprimand of "you're talking too much," and that was about it.

When I first saw my baby's head at about 3:30 AM on March 6, I felt like a distant observer of someone else's life- this wasn't really happening to us! I remember the doctor telling us we had a son, and my wife repeating it in what sounded like disbelief (probably closer to disbelief that her ordeal was over.) There was a brief moment of apprehension as I heard the doctor trying to coax a cry out of my new little boy, but then he started crying up a storm. It was a few minutes before I realized I could go over to the baby warmer and then a moment more before I realized I could actually touch him.

In an apparent blink of an eye, the room was empty except for me and my new family. I was so proud of my little boy, and even more proud of what my beloved wife had just accomplished.

It seems like forever ago, and like the cliché goes, "everything changes." In the past three weeks I have felt a broader range of emotions than I knew I possessed. Some, I'm not even particularly proud of, but those were mostly at 3 in the morning.

We've figured out so much about little Alexander, and there's still so much we're clueless about. There are already cute stories and battle tales, but I think that's enough for right now. It's 3:35 in the morning (coincidentally enough- the time Alex was born 3 weeks and 2 days ago!) and I'm pretty tired. It's already taken a feeding and 2 diapers just to get this typed out finally.

I think I may be allowed to go to bed now.