mood: 
thoughtful
Here I am, THIRTY-ONE years old: a grown-up by virtually any definition of the term. So why don't I feel like a grown-up? My wife and I own a house and two cars. To be more precise, we live in a house owned by one bank, drive a car owned by another bank, and own one car.
And we're having a baby.
I don't understand why I'm having such a difficult time wrapping my brain around that one. I have friends with toddlers, friends with newborns, and friends who had children (very) shortly after high school.
This is something I've always wanted, and I've especially wanted it since meeting Annette in 1996. I'm not frightened by the concept of fatherhood, and I'm not particularly anxious about it (most of the time). I simply can't comprehend holding a little person in my hands and knowing that it's my [son/daughter].
The realization of the fact that my wife is pregnant has not been a smooth progression. I mean- I know she's pregnant, but sometimes I feel like I don't "know" she's pregnant. Since we just passed the first trimester, it's surprisingly easy to forget about it for a little while at a time. We talk about planning the baby's room every now and then, yet it remains a spare bedroom so full of boxes that one can barely navigate a path from the door to the window.
The realization has come more in jumps and lurches, like an automobile with a cranky engine. My wife clipping an article on baby seats and high chairs- Bump! Receiving our first set of baby clothes as a gift- Jolt! Holding my friend's three week-old daughter- Bam! It's sort of a "oh, yeah- that's right!" feeling. Christmas doesn't mean a whole lot, even though Annette will be about 7 months along. In fact, the date that had the most significance was the dentist appointment Annette made for April. She realized she'll have to find someone to watch the baby.
SHE'LL HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE TO WATCH THE BABY!!!
How odd is that?
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